


#StarkProblems

by orphan_account



Series: Any Way the Wind Blows [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Gen, Multimedia, Social Media, Texting, Twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22009486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It’s not that the Stark children aremagnetsfor trouble, exactly. It just kind of… orbits them.
Relationships: Arya Stark & Gendry Waters
Series: Any Way the Wind Blows [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1585387
Comments: 9
Kudos: 76





	1. Coming to You Live

**Author's Note:**

> For best experience, please leave the work skin on! The fic is formatted through CSS and HTML, so it really won't work without it. Thank you!

[ ](https://imgur.com/50PKmh7)  


wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
if i have to stay at this boring party any longer im gonna kick someones ass 8:38PM - 24 February 2020  0  42 

wolfpack 🐺🐺🐺   
  
branther 💻   
So I take it the party's going great, then?  
YOU  
branther 💻   
Perhaps not.  
TRAITOR  
branther 💻   
That seems exaggerative.  
you  
ABANDONED me  
to this tomfuckery  
so you could go play LEAGUE  
with JOJEN REED  
when you KNEW i needed you. you KNOW i cant handle these kinds of things alone.  
branther 💻   
I know no such thing. You're perfectly fine.   
Listening to Robert Baratheon brag about how cool he and Dad used to be will hardly kill you.  
And it's Jojen's birthday. It's my obligation as his friend to come to his party.  
And for the record, the choice of game was his, not mine.  
"oh uh i dont uh play uh league i just uh let jojen pick the game" SURE  
it doesnt matter anyway  
im your sister. im your mothers blood. and you have abandoned me in my time of need  
branther 💻   
Speaking of our mother's blood and its many distributions, why am I the only one catching flak for this? Sansa ditched you, too.  
sañorita 🌹   
Oh, thanks. Classy, Bran.  
branther 💻   
Sorry. Desperate times.  
HE'S RIGHT  
sañorita 🌹   
I actually do happen to have a legitimate excuse.   
NONE EXIST  
sañorita 🌹   
I have a term paper, remember? I can't come.   
Which is a shame, since I genuinely enjoy these sorts of things  
They're fun  
the jury begrudgingly accepts your plea  
on the grounds that the defendant is clearly insane  
because WHO could possibly enjoy this  
sañorita 🌹   
It's better if you talk to people.  
thats the worst part  
the only people here are boring or creepy  
cant believe this is what old ppl want to do with their birthdays  
young dumb and broke 👑  
what's this about?  
I just opened my phone to about fifty new notifications.  
branther 💻   
Ah, I forgot. You don't have Twitter.  
young dumb and broke 👑  
...no?  
ROBB COME HELP ME  
branther 💻   
TLDR: Arya's been made to go to Robert Baratheon's birthday party. None of us could come.  
im in HELL  
young dumb and broke 👑  
ah.  
i see.  
the youngest guy here besides me is uncle petyr  
that should tell you something  
young dumb and broke 👑  
brave heart, my friend.  
has he started talking about mom's virginity yet?  
when does he not.  


* * *

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
days since last creepy uncle incident: 0 8:57 PM - 24 February 2020  3  26 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
what is it about aunts that gives them, like, an absolute NEED to neg you 9:13 PM - 24 February 2020  26  55 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
now shes telling me how robins in advanced music for his age 9:15 PM - 24 February 2020  3  17 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
2 of my brothers are at harvard law but sure, lets talk about robin and his incredible fucking flute 9:16 PM - 24 February 2020  3  29 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
my sister is first chair in her college symphony but sure, lets talk about robin’s thrilling B+ in orchestra 9:18 PM - 24 February 2020  5  12 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
if i sound mean then consider 1. ive been here for three hours and 2. i dont care 9:22 PM - 24 February 2020  37  62 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
google how to explain to a boomer that i dont care about her sad attempts to flex 9:28 PM - 24 February 2020  66  108 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
he isnt even that good at the flute 9:33 PM - 24 February 2020  1  7 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
oh cool we’re back to my grades again 9:37 PM - 24 February 2020  0  18 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
how am i still somehow the family disappointment. has anyone LOOKED at robin lately 9:40 PM - 24 February 2020  2  37 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
i am ready to snap on this woman i swear 9:45 PM - 24 February 2020  3  25 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
yeah sorry i got a b in precalc aunt lysa, anyway is your middle schooler off the teat yet 9:47 PM - 24 February 2020  22  38 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
update: several recent tweets have been deleted due to my mother paying unexpected attention to what i was typing #censorship 10:05 PM - 24 February 2020  0  18 

wolfpack 🐺🐺🐺   
  
ricky dicky 👼   
lol did she really catch you  
f  
shut up  
sañorita 🌹  
Poor Aunt Lysa. She must be so miserable  
Stuck all the way out in that huge house by herself, and on top of that, she’s dating Uncle Petyr :(  
poor AUNT LYSA  
ricky dicky 👼   
oh boy  
poor AUNT LYSA??  
branther 💻   
Sansa, I believe the expression is “read the room.”  
sañorita 🌹  
:/   
YES POOR AUNT LYSA  
SO HORRIBLE, SO SAD  
WHERE *IS* THAT TINY VIOLIN  
sañorita 🌹  
I don’t have any great love for the woman, I just think it’s unfortunate!  
you’re unfortunate  
I’M unfortunate  
god even mom looks bored  
shes being nice about it but you can tell shes getting lowkey annoyed with lysa too  
dad is trapped in a conversation with robert and cersei about joffreys new car  
young dumb and broke 👑  
? i thought he wrecked his?  
he did  
apparently he’s getting a new one  
young dumb and broke 👑  
:/  
sañorita 🌹  
:/  
ricky dicky 👼   
:/  
:/ indeed  
at least he's not here  
ricky dicky 👼   
yeah lmao  
maybe he heard you were coming and went into witness protection  
LMAO  
we can dream, boys  


* * *

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
coming to you live from hell: we have now entered hour 4 of this damn party 10:17 PM - 24 February 2020  10  32 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
i am going to die here. i really am 10:19 PM - 24 February 2020  7  37 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
tell my mother i love her. tell my aunt i dont 10:20 PM - 24 February 2020  14  52 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
and now some old dude is trying to talk to me. awesome. 10:24 PM - 24 February 2020  6  34 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
who ever dressed this man should be tried for gross abuse of a corpse 10:27 PM - 24 February 2020  25  74 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
oh god please don’t try to guess how old i am 10:28 PM - 24 February 2020  3  29 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
TWELVE? 10:30 PM - 24 February 2020  0  19 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
okay he was joking. i think. 10:34 PM - 24 February 2020  0  8 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
who brings their family doctor to their birthday party anyway 10:37 PM - 24 February 2020  0  19 

wolfpack 🐺🐺🐺   
  
wait  
some new guy just came in  
whos this joker  
he looks interesting  
also cersei looks so angry shes about to puke  
which means i like him already  
sañorita 🌹  
Is he familiar? It seems odd that a stranger would show up at Robert's party.  
no i dont know him  
which to be fair means jack because i dont know any of dads friends  
this dude is HUGE  
kind of looks like renly, but beefy  
bran. can you do your thingy  
branther 💻  
Do you have a picture?  
gimme a sec  
boy.jpg  
branther 💻  
One moment.  
His name is Gendry Waters. Robert is his father. He’s a mechanic and metalworker from KL, born in Flea Bottom, raised in foster care. He has a Facebook page and a private Twitter, both infrequently used. No Instagram or Snapchat. He moved here five months ago, he rides AMVs as a hobby, and his dog is a Great Dane.  
sañorita 🌹  
Good LORD  
thanks  
young dumb and broke 👑  
has anyone told you you're terrifying lately?  
branther 💻  
No, but thank you.  
whys he look so grumpy  
also whys he here  
i thought cersei didnt let roberts other kids hang around  
branther 💻  
Flattered as I am by the assumption, I’m not quite telepathic.  
If you want to know his reasons for being there, you should probably just ask him.  
see if mom would let go of my elbow for 4 seconds i could maybe do that  


* * *

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
oh man mrs baratheon does NOT like the look of this kid 10:40 PM - 24 February 2020  0  8 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
shes talking to mr baratheon about it. neither of them are happy 10:43 PM - 24 February 2020  0  4 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
“you PROMISED” oh she is going into FULL “can i speak to the manager” mode 10:44 PM - 24 February 2020  6  28 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
appeal unsuccessful, shes now talking to mr lannister (jr, not sr) 10:47 PM - 24 February 2020  0  17 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
hes nodding. he doesnt look pleased about it but — ohhhh hes going over 10:48 PM - 24 February 2020  0  14 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
“im just here to see about the car” oh he’s not even here as a guest 10:51 PM - 24 February 2020  0  19 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
poor guy doesnt even realize whats going on 10:55 PM - 24 February 2020  0  21 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
mr lannister is really getting up in his space. maybe back it up like 7 or 8 steps there buddy 10:57 PM - 24 February 2020  0  12 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
ALERT BOY HAS JUST SHOVED MR LANNISTER 10:58 PM - 24 February 2020  97  125 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
MR LANNISTER RETALIATES WITH A LEFT HOOK 10:58 PM - 24 February 2020  167  219 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
now playing: grown ass man punches random boy, loses dignity, more at 11 11:00 PM - 24 February 2020  48  92 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
boy is getting up…dads coming over, he looks pissed, hard to say which side he’ll take 11:01 PM - 24 February 2020  44  57 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
YES dad is talking to mr lannister 11:03 PM - 24 February 2020  41  79 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
psa: you do NOT want to be in front of my dad when he looks like this 11:05 PM - 24 February 2020  74  95 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
for personal safety reasons 11:06 PM - 24 February 2020  63  72 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
he’s got his “im about to make a grown man cry” face on 11:08 PM - 24 February 2020  104  155 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
mr lannister is backing off. god i love my fucking dad 11:09 PM - 24 February 2020  99  148 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
boy is now being escorted from the premises :( 11:11 PM - 24 February 2020  78  169 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
missed connections: i was bored at a party and you started a fight with mrs baratheons brother, i think we’re soulmates 11:15 PM - 24 February 2020  186  267 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
jk jk. you all know my one and only love is still nymeria 11:16 PM - 24 February 2020  150  204 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
that said it is sad i didnt get to talk to him. how am i going to thank him now 11:19 PM - 24 February 2020  144  210 

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
@threeravens pls assist 11:20 PM - 24 February 2020  123  146 

Bran Stark  
@threeravens   
@aryastarks Busy. 11:21 PM - 24 February 2020  150  189 

wolfpack 🐺🐺🐺   
  
what do you mean, “busy”??  
is someone raiding your league server?  
bran answer me  
bran  
braaaaaaaaaaaaan  
braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (1/2)  
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (2/2)  
jon ⛄️  
arya could you perhaps use a dm for this  
1\. no  
2\. and just where have YOU been  
jon ⛄️  
i had notifications off  
what do you need bran for  
to get a guys number for me  
jon ⛄️  
...  
???  
not like THAT, gross  
jon ⛄️  
okay  
anyway  
go look at my twitter i dont have time for this  
if any of you are in touch with bran tell him that when i die i want him to lower me into my grave  
he knows the rest  


* * *

wolf queen  
@aryastarks   
last chance shoutout to the kid from robert baratheon's bday party, you made my night. hmu if you want to hang 11:54 PM - 24 February 2020  257  379 

Gendry  
@bullhorns   
why is everyone yelling in my mentions all of a sudden 7:12 AM - 25 February 2020  7  23 

Gendry  
@bullhorns   
oh 7:15 AM - 25 February 2020  136  294 


	2. Man of Mystery

r/ThreeEyedRaven

**[Discussion] OFFICIAL THREAD FOR 3ER IDENTITY THEORIES** (i.redd.it)  
submitted 5 hours ago by Corvideus  
**745 Comments share report**

**[News] Lenny Zeltser references a tip-off from an “anonymous friend” in Twitter post** (ravenwatch.io)  
submitted 7 hours ago by IceIceIce  
**103 Comments share report**

**[Discussion] 3ER Location Conspiracy Thread (QUARANTINED)** (i.redd.it)  
submitted 10 hours ago by runriverrun12  
**512 Comments share report**

**[Thread] Okay, guys. Craziest 3ERID theories. Go go go!** (i.redd.it)  
submitted 11 hours ago by janice_the_manice  
**116 Comments share report**

**[News] 3ER makes post on Stack** (stackoverflow.com)  
submitted 15 hours ago by childrenoftheforest  
**85 Comments share report**

**[Discussion] Weekly Update Thread** (i.redd.it.)  
submitted 18 hours ago by Aggress_to_Impress  
**914 Comments share report**

  


* * *

  


janice_the_manice 97 points 11 hours ago  
Okay, guys. Craziest 3ERID theories. Go go go!  


> hellisempty 72 points 10 hours ago  
>  Multiple people. Gotta be. No one can be that prolific without a team, and it's the only thing that explains the erratic posting schedule. Probably some kind of hacking league or syndicate that's trying to make a name for itself. (Masterpost of theory evidence here and here)  
> 
>
>> Starfall 85 points 10 hours ago  
>  I have a couple of problems with this. First, although I don't believe it's true, it's not a *crazy* theory, which means it probably belongs on the official 3ERID thread, not here. Second, that still doesn't account for the Timeline Problem — most people forget that the original 3ER became active in the 90's, and then, without warning, they went radio silent for a period between 1995 and 2015. Why would multiple people simultaneously decide to become inactive for twenty years?  
>    
>  hungryfortoast 34 points 10 hours ago  
>  i mean, people take career breaks. i agree that 20 years is a long time, but unless he was 50+ when he started coding there's no reason he couldn't still be alive now  
>    
>  Starfall 30 points 10 hours ago  
>  Alive, yeah, but why come back? And moreover, that leads us to the Style Problem — his work nowadays is way, way different than it was back then. Same general method and idea, but if you actually examine the execution of the attacks, the technique is way off. It's a good imitation, but it's not the original.  
>    
>  nugirl12 16 points 9 hours ago  
>  uh, yeah? duh? software is way, way different now from how it was in the 90s. its not like any of our stuff is gonna look the same in 20 years 
> 
>   
> KingdomsAtWar 42 points 8 hours ago  
> Honestly? I think he's a different guy. Solves both problems. Plus, if he's young, that explains why he's just now started up again. I bet he's some virtuoso wunderkid who just liked the moniker and picked it up to sound cool.
> 
> Nerdmageddon 39 points 6 hours ago  
>  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: he's an A.I. No other way to explain it.
>
>> deadboybreathing 35 points 5 hours ago  
>  Implying that not only do strong AI exist, but that someone went through all the trouble of developing one (ostensibly spending millions, maybe billions of dollars in R&D), SUCCEEDED, and then TOLD NOBODY about it. Genius.  
>    
>  PetShopBoysFan 12 points 5 hours ago  
>  no no no but have you seen the Turing Test Theory? it explains all of this  
> 
>>
>>> Blackwater_Babe 42 points 5 hours ago  
>  oh god i know it's a conspiracy thread but can we please not bring up the TTT  
>    
>  jjreed 8 points 5 hours ago  
>  Wait, what’s the TTT?  
>    
>  Blackwater_Babe 37 points 5 hours ago  
>  *sigh.* basically, it's this super dumb post that crawled out of 4chan in like 2016, which says the 3ER is a super advanced AI whose behavior and interactions with all of us are being studied by a bunch of researchers behind the scenes to see if he can pass the turing test. it's total hot garbage nonsense with no evidence whatsoever to support it, but a bunch of people got really into it for a while because it was ~cool~ and ~science fictiony~  
>    
>  youknowmyname 7 points 5 hours ago  
>  There are still a couple hardcore TTTers on 4chan, lol. Check out these threads if you need a laugh  
> 
> 
> hieronymousMosh 33 points 2 hours ago  
> Russian Mafia. 100%.  
> 

  


* * *

  


**[News] 3ER VPN SIGNAL TRACED TO TAIWAN?** (ravenwatch.io)  
submitted 14 minutes ago by Bear_Jryllis  
**188 Comments share report**

**[Theory] 3ER is the Night King** (i.redd.it)  
submitted 44 minutes ago by salmonides  
**294 Comments share report**

**[Question] Anybody have a link to that deleted Stack post from a while back? Asking for a friend** (i.redd.it)  
submitted 1 hour ago by hohohozier  
**26 Comments share report**

**The “Three-Eyed Raven”: Hacktivist or Villain In Disguise?** (vice.com)  
submitted 1 hour ago by strangeness_and_charm  
**512 Comments share report**

**Reddit’s Favorite Myth: Why the Three-Eyed Raven Does Not Exist** (wired.com)  
submitted 2 hours ago by dynomidas  
**809 Comments share report**

  


* * *

  


weirdwood 115 points 23 minutes ago  
[NEWS] Holy fuck, 3ER just dropped 40GB of info about NK’s infosec link  


> saymynamesaymyname 95 points 23 minutes ago  
>  3ER said FUCK griefer lives  
>    
>  theBestieBoys 24 points 22 minutes ago  
>  Wait, doesn't NK encrypt the shit out of all their stuff?  
> 
>
>> discotecque  14 points 22 minutes ago  
>  yeah, they do
> 
>   
> IneffableMountains 24 points 22 minutes ago  
> Goddamn, they're gonna get keelhauled.
> 
> MrPudding 82 points 22 minutes ago  
>  Hell, I've been waiting for this day for years. Let’s get 'em, boys.
> 
> quantumripley 24 points 20 minutes ago  
>  good fucking riddance
> 
> brasstax 9 points 20 minutes ago  
>  All right, but this is kind of dirty. I don't like NK any more than the next guy, but it's seriously not OK to violate someone's privacy like that.
>
>> QueenofBabylon 43 points 18 minutes ago  
>  does your back hurt from leaning over to lick that boot
> 
>   
> jjreed 13 points 17 minutes ago  
> Sorry, noob here. Who’s NK? I’ve never heard of him 
>
>> Aggress_to_Impress 37 points 17 minutes ago  
>  Honestly, nobody knows. He used to be this shitty griefer on WOW servers, like 20 years ago, but nowadays he's just this dick of a black hat who churns out malware and bricks people's shit for fun. He and a bunch of his weird followers will sometimes raid big servers for no apparent reason.  
>    
>  funhappyfits 13 points 17 minutes ago  
>  Yeah, +3ER seems to hold a grudge against him for some reason. He's been wrecking NK's shit for like, five years now. Serious Batman/Joker complex going on. Some people over on the conspiracy thread think they know each other IRL  
>    
>  MountainousCaprines 17 points 16 minutes ago  
>  That theory's considered pretty unlikely, though. You can read more about it in the thread, but general consensus is they're just enemies — 3ER is a wild card but he’s generally benevolent, and he's shown a real distaste for trolls, so you can see how someone like NK might piss him off.
> 
>   
> broderickiii 9 points 15 minutes ago  
> >still believing in 3ER as a grown ass adult lmao 
>
>> prosperoo 64 points 14 minutes ago  
>  >going on the 3ER subreddit just to whine about people talking about the 3ER LMAO  
>    
>  BritneySwords 20 points 14 minutes ago  
>  who hurt you  
>    
>  songsfromunderground 24 points 14 minutes ago  
>  Dude, how can you NOT believe he's real? Who do you think crashed Twitter last year? Fucking pixies?
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
> 
> 
> Rickon   
>    
>  hey, our wifi just went down all of a sudden  
>  i looked at the router but it seems to be fine?  
>  also the signal is working but somethings just using a tooooooon of broadband  
>  and im not streaming soooooo  
>  ?  
>  do u know anything about this  
>  …bran?  
>  hello??  
>  Minor glitch. Don't worry about it. Should be back up again soon.  
>  wait what  
>  ...  
>  is this because of your weird computer stuff  
>  No.  
>  ........  
>  ................  
>  Don't worry about it.  
>  Everything is fine.  
>  reassuring  
>  thanks  
> 
> 
> * * *


End file.
